When we feel stuck in a situation, when we struggle with the same problem over and over again, when our emotional batteries are low and elegance seems a concept from another galaxy, usually something interesting happens: we are irresistibly attracted by questions that are guaranteed to keep us brewing in our own juice:
- Why can’t I make more money/lose weight/find a partner?
- Why am I so fat/dumb/clumsy?
- Why can’t I simply understand what is going on?
When we absolutely 100% want to make sure that we’ll be miserable, we’ll top that with
- Why can’t he understand how I feel?
- Why is everyone against me?
- Why don’t they change?
Please pause for a minute here. Think about one of your own “Why” questions (come on now, you have some, I know you do. We all do!)
You’ve got a really desperate “Why?” question firmly in mind? Good! Now please imagine a very stubborn tail trying to wag a dog.
That’s is _exactly_ what is happening here. The tail (your “Why” question) is trying to wag the dog (You). The less result it gets, the more furiously the tail tries to wag the dog, insisting sometimes until utter exhaustion.
What’s so heartbreaking about this is that at the end we might give up all hope to ever get out of this situation, we stop to dream big and to step into who we want to be:
- Maybe it’s just not meant to be
- I tried _everything_ and it didn’t work, so…
- What good is it to want …(insert your dream), if the others will always… (insert why it is _their_ fault).
- I’m just the wrong kind of person.
Let me state this loud and clear: you are EXACTLY the right kind of person for everything you dream about.
You have just been asking the wrong questions.
The minute you replace those toxic “Why?” questions with questions that will invite your mind and soul to embrace your inner artist:
- How can I create more clarity in my relationship?
- How can I create new opportunities?
- How can I create helpful habits?
That. Moment. You are on the path of creating a life of connection. With the right kind of questions you upgrade your thoughts, you’ll introduce beauty into your life and you open up possibilities which your “Why?” questions couldn’t even fathom from afar.
And then it’s the dog who is wagging the tail. And enjoying it. 🙂