a spoonful of sugar cubes.isolated on white

What happens if you keep a glass jar full of candy on your desk? Unless you are a genetically altered person or a yogi about to dissolve into enlightenment, you will eventually eat the candy. The whole jar of it.

This is because you see the jar all the time. Consciously, or unconsciously the candy will be on your mind, you might salivate without even realising it, and “absentmindedly” reaching for a candy, when…. yes, when? When you are bored, stressed, annoyed, sad, lonely, tired. Then the candy jar is there for you.

What we focus on, grows. Whether positive or negative*, we have all experienced this principle and neuroscientists confirm it (in this case it would be sugar craving as an automatic  reaction to difficult emotions. Oh, and your waistline).

So, if sugar cravings and snacking are amongst the things you could do without, here’s my suggestion:

In lieu of gummy bears, smarties or M&Ms, fill the jar with your personal candy:

  • big or small successes (even tiny ones count. Remember, what you focus on, grows)
  • those moments when you made your partner’s, child’s or friend’s eyes shine
  • things you are grateful about (a new book. No more toothache. You got a seat in the morning train. You have a job. A cup of coffee in the sunshine.)
  • sparkling moments (the compliment you got today, the belly laughter you had with your child, the endorphins after working out)
  • reasons why you are already more than good enough (now this one’s tough, I know. But it’s SO worth it. The equivalent of two mars bars at least!)

You’ll notice that all this candy are things which are in your life already. We women are pretty resistant to give up being harsh, critical and unkind towards ourselves. So here’s your reminder and proof of all the things in your life that work well already!

Get yourself a glass jar or a vase (it has to be transparent, so you see the content all the time), some post-its (those neon coloured ones are best to get the candy look), write your personal candy on those post-its, make little balls of them and start filling your jar, at least once a day.

And then, when you feel bored/tired/lonely/sad/angry or whatever, just reach into the jar, savour your candy without restriction and observe the difference!

What we focus on, grows.

Bon appétit!


*This, BTW, is the same mechanism, which makes that diets don’t work. What are you focusing on during a diet? On all the weight which you feel to be “too much”. Result? ……


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