What’s happening in our homes corresponds to what’s happening in our lives.
By and now this simple truth has made it into most people’s awareness. Not that we don’t try to ignore it, at times. Or that we try to hide our homes from the world, because they show an image of us we don’t want the world to see. It is much more interesting, of course, to do it the other way around: work on your home so that it reflects on and enhances who you want to become!
Following last week’s article on addiction to struggle, here are the signs to look out for in your home.
Or, let’s look at it from the other end: if you find the following in your home, you might make life in general harder for you than it needs to be:
Is your Home addicted to Struggle?
1) Your bookshelves are loaded with I’m-broken-and-need-to-get-fixed self-help books. Or worse, with DIET books! What does a diet book do? Nothing but sending you a constant message of “If only I tried harder/had more willpower/were not such a loser, then I could loose 10 pounds/change my life/get a man/make more money…”. Now, I hate to break it to you, but that message does neither “fix” you nor make you lose weight. Ouch. I know.
2) There are things to repair wherever you look. Wobbly chairs, blocked doors, cracked windows, dripping faucets; lose plugs, dangling curtains plus all those things you piously labeled “projects” and everyone else labels “needs-to-get-burned”.
3) You have to get into hectic activity each time before someone comes over. If that is you, no comment needed, you know what I mean…
4) You are absolutely positive that your stuff is mating behind your back. There is simply no other explanation possible for all the things in your home.
5) You feel your home is not good enough, compared to the homes of your snooty sister-in-law, your frenemy or that celebrity whose home was featured in the magazine you read at the hairdresser’s last week.
6) Your wardrobe is bursting at the seams and you have nothing to wear.
7) Your papers can be found in more than one room. Actually, papers can be found in every room in your home. Yes, your car counts as a room.
8) You believe that organizing your home is a once-and-for-all thing, and if only you could get going….
9) You don’t use your best china, linen, towels, vases etc. on a regular basis, because it’s “just” you. What do you mean, “just” you?!? We need to talk.
10) You’d love to get a cleaner, but you are torn (too expensive, who do I think I am, I should be able to do it alone). You can’t/don’t decide. Being torn and non-deciding is a recipe for misery, so naturally you are crumpy and buy more stuff.
11) You do chores mostly on your own, feeling and behaving like a victim, rather than educating your family to chime in or to get a cleaner (see above).
12) Or you’d rather clean your home (including scraping those letters on the fridge with a hairpin) rather than doing something for yourself (going to the gym, going for a walk, reading a book, reflecting about your life or simply – resting).
13) Anyway, you can never quite relax when at home – there is always so much to do.
14) You can’t see the surface of your desk. Or of your kitchen counters. Yes, I do know about creative chaos (stop grinning those of you who’ve seen me cooking!). The question is: how long does it stay that way?
15) You are planning an important transformation in your life – but nothing in your home accompanies that change, it’s same old, same old. Better brace yourself for an uphill battle.
16) You’re a perfectionist.
Get working on those things in your home and you’ll see that quite magically other things in your life will become easier, too!
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